A couple of days ago, Andy T. twittered to say something about falling in love with some woman who works at the Foodland Grocery store in Vineland.  I sent him a link to Barenaked Ladies performing McDonald’s Girl and thought no more of it.  On Wednesday, he messaged me to ask for my lyrical input to a song he was writing based on his experience.  Over the next two hours, we generated the following with the help of a rhyming dictionary.  I present to you, “Unrequited Love for a Minimum-wage Grocery Store Employee.”

Driving into the parking lot
at a quarter to four
Here for items that I forgot
and maybe, I hope, for more

Passing through produce and rounding the deli
I dash down the canned veggie aisle
I don’t pause in seafood as it’s far too smelly
Then I catch the glint of her smile

She works for long hours down here in the store
She bags up all their groceries
We could be friends or oh, so much more
I want her to be close to me

Her shifts are like clockwork; she’s always on time
Five nights out of every week
From three ‘til eleven to bring home a dime
Her love is the favour I seek

I find myself here always more and more often
I wander and shop with no list
My dream’s for her cool mien to soften
and by her perhaps I’ll be kissed


For her eyes are as bright as the overhead lights
Her hair is a fine shade of yellow
Her smile fills my heart like the fruit in my cart
Some grapes and perhaps a tangelo

She’s too short to manage the top row of shelves
She stretches and strains just to reach
We never say “hi,” all wrapped up in ourselves
My heart’s all bruised up like a peach

The sliding doors part as they sense that I’m nearing
I walk slowly back to my car
I look back through windows that she’s busy cleaning
So very close and yet so far


Copyright 2009, etc. etc. look for the new album out maybe sometime.

a machine that only takes quarters

Edit: Sorry for the multi-post.  I’m getting very spotty internet connection here and so it looks as though it tried to choke to death.