I have, as some of you know and others have inferred, a really ridiculously large vocabulary.  I’m not really sure how it came about (probably the copious quantities of books I inhale) but here it sits.  I don’t use it for much (until I started trying to class up my poop jokes like yesterday’s post) but I find it helps me to come up with new words that describe things that require describing or would otherwise take up several words.  Some of these words are genuinely new and others are repurposed from portmanteau words.  Several friends have also contributed (credited below).

Schizophonia (skits-o-fone-ee-uh) – The bizarre cognitive dissonance that results from one’s music player throwing up an odd mix during shuffle.  Examples include:  Mozart into Limp Bizkit and The Cowboy Junkies into Papa Roach, both of which have happened to me.

Voluntold (vawl-un-tolled) (via Luke) – The act of being informed that one is going to provide a service to others, usually a service offered on one’s behalf by a family member with no prior discussion of whether or not one has any intent whatsoever to be involved in whatever event is upcoming.  Example:  I had planned to go to the concert but I got voluntold to arrange flowers for the pot-luck.

Amerimarginalized (Uh-mare-ih-mahrj-in-al-iz-‘d) (via Andrew) – When foreigners assume that you are American and then treat you with contempt.  Example:  Me: “Excusez-moi, ou est la biblitheque?” Quebecer:  “GO BACK TO NEW YORK, YOU IMPERIALIST SWINE”

Irrationalization (ih-rash-un-al-eye-zay-shun) – Doing something absolutely sane for really, really strange reasons.  Example:  “Why did you take out the garbage this morning?” “The cereal bowl told me to.”

a picture in reverse